My desire is to enjoy my children. Not from a lazy boy - but with them. On the floor, on the playground, in the water, on the mountain, down the sleds, on our bikes ... with them! I do not want to stand on the sidelines and watch them enjoy simple activities, because I can not keep up.
I don't expect to go as fast, as long, or as crazy as little boys tend to get ... but I do want to experience life with them. Side-by-side memories.
My health has not been the greatest. Even when I was bulimic thin in my early 20's - I still was not "fit". Which is sad to admit from a former competitive gymnast and high school cheerleader.
My incredible teenage health started to deteriorate as soon as I graduated when endometriosis became a problem. Rather than be active ~ I assumed fetal position. Four years I would battle with pain and lose flexibility and muscle tone.
I still had a pretty face and curves. I thrived on male attention. So to remain 104lbs without the ability to enjoy activity -- I discovered an alcohol induced bulimia.
After a few years life changed - endometriosis was removed, babies arrived. I accepted Jesus into my heart. I went from a young woman starving her body to a mid-30's emotional eater. Hubs travel increased and I had no accountability.
I ate boxes of Entenmann's donuts in one sitting and washed it all down with a can of Pringles and a jar of pickles. I hid chocolate bars from my kids. I ordered pizza and ate a large by myself.
Unhealthiness couldn't hide my funny, but I used my jokes to cover the hurt of being a slave to comfort.
I had excuses why I couldn't lose the weight.
- boys always got sick from the daycare.
- over crowded gym.
- classes I wanted to take occurred during nap time.
- we couldn't get our homeschool work done with the mid day interruption.
I couldn't keep up without stomping and panting like a dying elephant and I felt every healthy woman was laughing at me. I would go to the gym, walk around, drink some water, watch cycling classes, and head home to tell hubs, "yup - we went to the gym today".
I purchased dvds and home weights - I got online to make jokes on twitter instead.
We started juicing - and I loaded my juices down with fruits so it would taste better. The scale did not budge because I was getting so much sugar from the fruits. But I started to notice health differences. I felt like I had more energy. I started sleeping better at night. I became hungry in the morning. I was becoming aware of the taste of processed foods vs natural healthy foods.
I came clean with Jesus. I confessed I had not treated my body as a temple - even back in my early 20's. I asked forgiveness for expecting magical results yet giving little on my part.
I knew if I wanted to be healthy and lose the belly fat I had to sacrifice my pride and stop making jokes. I knew I had to put time into sweating rather than scale standing. It would also require money.
Interestingly enough - God had provided a consulting job the same time. I got a used treadmill ($350). And today - I ran. I ran like I haven't run in years. I blared worship music (Pandora) and I got moving. When I couldn't run I walked fast.
|hubs snapped a photo when I wasn't looking - good thing for him.|
Weight: 156 (this is after juicing original start 161)
Chest: 42, Belly: 36, Hips: 42
I hate to write measurements not only because mine are the biggest I've been w/o being pregnant, but I have learned a number does not make you happy. I know when I was a size 2 throwing up I had much less joy than I did a size 8 with Jesus in my heart. THIS IS NOT ABOUT A DRESS SIZE.
This is all about being fit and capable of keeping up with my children. Being able to go when God says go. Not taking a seat when I can get up and serve. Making fun memories with my boys and they remember mom & dad were there with them ... not watching from a chair.
A few blogging friends have shared their journey Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers, The Happy Housewife, Eclectic What Not. I am joining The Marathon Mom and her 42 Days to Fit (you will see updates here)
I feel as bloggers we're doing our friends a disservice. We tend to share great Pinterest stuff to drive up pageviews - but we're not being real with our hearts.
Exercise is hard. It is not fun (yet). Sacrifice does not always "taste good". Being fat and unhealthy is less fun, and it's SO easy. God does not call us to the easy, and HE is with us in this!
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
This is the real me - reclaiming my health!
Because it's not about the numbers -- check out this great post: Does This Make Me Look Fat from Home Educating Family Blog